Vampire Knight New Year's Resolutions
by candtcane
Summary: when the night class has to make new year's resolutions


**New Year's Resolutions**

Teacher: ok class for your first assignment of the New Year I want you to write a new year's resolution. At the end of the week you will read yours aloud to the whole class.

Shiki: To have Ichijo's baby.

Aidou: To forever dump Casey and marry kaname

T-T

Casey: That means Aidou would dump you, too, Zero. Now that would just crush your heart.

Zero: no it wouldn't

Aidou: Oh, sure. Then who would you suck on since Yuuki's gone?

Teacher: ENOFFFFF!!!! Yuuki, what do you have in mind, dear?

Yuuki: *Puts finger on chin* Hm... World peace!

Ruka: of corse

Kaname: No! No world peace because I'm going to take over the world so suck on them apples

Teacher: shut up kaname

Zero: teachers aren't supposed to say shut up

Tech: I don't care

Kaname: Teachers don't tell me what to do! And why is Zero here?!

Zero: Monitoring. *Pulls out gun*

Maria: Well my resolution is to be on dancing with the stars! *jumps from desk to desk, papers flying everywhere*

Yuuki: Snow... what is snow? _It is something that is not red_

Ruka: Oh, shut it.

Aidou: Paper angles!!!! *paper angel*

Rima: well unlike Maria I want to do a lighting dace with real lighting on ICE!

Ichijo: *raises hand*

Tech: yes *yells over everyone else*

Chiji: I haven't read mine

Zero: No one cares

Chiji: What???

Zero: Shut Up!!!!! *sticks gun in chiji's face*

Teacher: SHUT UP!!!!!!

Zero: Teachers aren-

Teacher: Does it look like a care?!

Akatsuki: Why does sensei have a zipper?

Aidou: It's probably just her outfit...

Akatsuki: Not when it's on her face.

Zero: Hm... *pulls on zipper*

Everyone: GASP!!!!! It's Dicksongorham!!!!

D-G: *lazers shoot from third eye*

Zero: Die!!! *randomly shoots*

D-G: give me that gun

Zero: NO!!!! *pushes D-G back*

Kaname: I don't think so!!!! * takes mirror from chiji and poses*

*Day class comes in and Kidnaps Akatsuki and then leaves*

*Room returns to chaos*

Ruka: Why not take Aidou?

Ichijo: I still haven't said my resolution!!!!!!!!!

Zero: Grow up!!!!!!!

Chiji: Awwwwwwww!!!!

Ruka: I'll give you something to cry about *slaps chiji*

Shiki: Leave Chiji-san alone! *slaps Ruka*

Akatsuki: Leave Ruka alone! *slaps Shiki*

Rima: Oi! *slaps Akatsuki*

Aidou: Hey!!! *slaps Rima*

Kaname: Aidou. *pimp slap of doom*

Yuuki: Kaname-oniisama! *slaps*

Zero: Yuki! *slaps Yuuki*

D-G: Zero! *slaps Zero*

Zero: Oh no u didn't *slaps D-G*

Kaname: teachers and student aren't spost to slap each other

*Everyone slaps Kaname for saying that*

Zero: Students aren't supposed to kill Dicks in Dorem. But she's going down. *points gun at D-G*

Yuuki: World peace! World peace! World peace!!!!!

Ruka: *grabs Yuuki and shakes her* world peace is never going to happen!!!

Kaname: Ruka!!! How dare you!! *slaps ruka*

Akatsuki: Kaname!!! *sees self in mirror* ooo i look good *does hot dance*

Kaname: *pushes Akatsuki out of way* no I look better

D-G: No me! *grabs mirror and looks in it*

Mirror: *breaks*

Everyone: Ahahahah

Priciple Kizzier: Stop this madness!!! What caused this??!!!

D-G: New Year's resolutions

Icijio: I still haven't told mine!!!

Kizzire: Oh, I have one. Ahem... my new year's resolution is to actually be a real Doctor and not have to lie about the title doctor Kizzire.

Everyone: Gasp!

Kizzire: I might also need a real teaching degree...

D-G: It's not like I have one!

Ichjio: What about me!!!!!!!!!

Zero: nobody cares

Ichijo: *cry*

D-G: Okay... Akatsuki! What is yours?

Akatsuki: To finish beauty school.

Aidou: Eh?

Akatsuki: Of course! How else do you think Ruka could look as semi good as she does?

Kaname: I get mine professionally done.

Ichijo: well mine is to-

Zero: Nobody cares!!!!

Kaname: So, Zero. Where do you get your boobs done?

Ruka: So, Yuuki. Where do you get your boobs pressed to be so flat?

D-G: Pssst. Kizzire! Don't tell anyone but I have three boobs.

Kizzire: Oh, you can tell.

Ruka: Yep

*Bell Rings*

Teacher: Well I guess class's over. Have a good rest of your day.

Ichijo: I NEVER DID GET TO SAY MY NEW YEAR"S RESOLUTION!!!


End file.
